By BJ Reyes
This is a sure sign that boredom has truly set in and Wednesday's surgery can't come soon enough to get me going with rehab and my journey back to Hawaii. To (sort of) help put you all in the holiday spirit, may I present my own take on a beloved holiday classic.† (With apologies to Clement Clarke Moore.)
Twas the night before surgery, and all ‘bout the house,
the patient was stirring, with a tale to espouse:
Appointments were finished, the doctors gave say,
To replace his femur, this cold winter day.
The old one had failed, infected by bugs,
So for 10 weeks he sat, medicated with drugs.
The spacer was working – the meds a success,
It killed the infection, or so said the tests.
And from far and wide, friends and fam’ly did chatter,
Especially when doctors said nothing’s the matter.
They all got excited, whipped into a stir,
Said all would be fine, and go by in a blur.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But smooth sailing ahead, very little to fear.
The hospital stay would last eight to 10 days,
If all went as planned, there’d be no delays.
Holidays approached, they’d be here right quick,
And he would be home, in time for St. Nick.
With rehab ahead, and him willing to try,
He thought and expected the days to fly by:
“First Mondays! Then Tuesdays! Next Wednesdays and Thursdays!”
At this rate the months, will just all melt away.
“We have to heal up, we have to get better,
Get back to Hawaii, and the warm, cozy weather!”
But Hawaii can wait, and rehab can, too.
One step at a time, that’s all you can do.
The vintage prosthesis – the infected part,
Will just be replaced, become state of the art.
A step toward bionic, the reporter will be,
Titanium bones – the femur, hip and the knee.
The patient was pleased and rarin’ to go,
Enthusiasm tempered at the thought it might snow.
Away from the boredom, long days in the chair,
He’d soon get to rehab, and exercise there.
But surgery first, no more contemplating,
Let’s get this thing done, the O.R. is waiting.
So off to the Clinic, they climb’d in the car,
One last operation, a milestone by far.
But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,
Aloha to all, and to all a good night!
† - Sadly, I must cop to the fact that I've actually done this before =) Talk to you all after the surgery!